dom mach facts

-Dom Mach once gapped to smith so hard that his peg broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-The chief export of Dom Mach is Canadian nosepicks.

-Dom Mach’s front breaks cure cancer.

-When Dom Mach plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather one footed x-ups to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his semi-ovalized macneil miron toptube. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

-Dom Mach once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine “Dom Mach.” When they refused, Dom decade tailtapped Google in the face, transforming it’s bruised remains into Google Dark.

-Dom Mach affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden gaps to smith. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one vicious back peg chink.

-If you make a list of 10 things Dom Mach cannot Canadian nosepick, he will appear at your house and nosepick them all. Your life may be forfeit.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for a Dom Mach one footed x-up.

-Dom Mach can canadian nosepick revolving doors.

-Dom Mach has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states (and 10 provinces) in order to legally run front brakes.

-When Dom Mach sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to gap into a smith. Dom Mach has not had to pay taxes ever.

-When Dom Mach does a canadian nosepick, he isn’t rotating on coping, he’s pushing the Earth around in a half circle underneath him.

-Dom Mach can nosepick your coping so hard that it will actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally wonder why they are all goofy footed.